


Diamond Heart

by Aweebwrites



Category: Lego Ninjago
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Cheating, Depression, Emotional Hurt, F/M, Feels, Heavy Angst, Hurt, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Obsession, Obsessive Behavior, One-Sided Attraction, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-13
Updated: 2019-06-13
Packaged: 2020-05-02 08:17:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,469
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19195120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aweebwrites/pseuds/Aweebwrites
Summary: Jay saw how they looked at each other... If only they would look at him like that too...





	Diamond Heart

Jay blamed himself for this mess. He should have known. It was karma really. Now, looking at Nya after Pixal revealed her better match was Cole, seeing the guilt in her eyes… He wasn’t sure whether to laugh or cry. He loves her so much. But that’s not where the irony lay.

“Ha, it’s so quiet in here. What did I miss? Another signature Jay Walker gut buster?” Cole says as he walked in and Jay’s heart ached at the sight of him.

This was all karma. Maybe even his fault. Who told him to go falling for them both? He walked out of the caravan, ignoring Nya and his parents calling after him and Cole’s worried expression. He ran. As far and as fast as he could. Until he had to stop to catch his breath. The tears spilled then and he slumped into the hot sand, choking on his own sobs, despite trying to hide them with his hands. Who was he kidding? He was never enough for Nya. Never enough for Cole either. He was happy with her but he couldn’t help but also being drawn to Cole. Nya was self sufficient, smart, beautiful and firm. Cole was selfless, thoughtful, handsome and near painfully sweet. There was no need for wishful thinking. What he and Nya had was over and done with. He saw it in her eyes. He saw it in both of their eyes while they were on that circus train.

He knew they had been holding hands, had been sharing a moment more tender than anything he and Nya had before, He knew. But he was foolish to think denial could fix things. Could keep him with one of the loves of his life and keep admiring the other from afar. He laughed. An ugly, broken sound before gripping his chest, looking down at the sand damped with his tears. He was a fool to think that he could keep this. He was even more of a fool to hope, in the depths of the night, that he could just maybe have both. The world didn’t work that way. Nothing is certain. He tightened the tear dampened hand over his heart, a vain attempt to keep his heart from breaking. He knew that more than anything now…

_______________________

He didn’t go back to the junkyard. The others found him instead, sitting with his arms wrapped tight around his knees as he stared out at the sunset. He felt hollow. But they couldn’t know that. He glanced back once he heard the Earth Driller approach. Nya and Cole were the first ones to jump out.

“Took you guys long enough.” He says with a smirk, his usual mask fitting on seamlessly.

Nya paused, sharing a look with Cole.

“The perfect match doesn’t have to change anything if we don’t want it to.” Nya says quietly and Jay wanted to laugh.

It already has changed everything. He wasn’t blinded by choice any more. He knew it was only a matter of time before…

“You knew I wouldn’t, right?” Cole says with a small frown and Jay wanted that guilty, concerned expression away from his face.

He should always smile. Jay stood up.

“I know you wouldn’t.” He says, placing a hand on his shoulder. “You’re a jerk but not that big of a jerk.” He joked and Cole laughed in relief, gently pushing his shoulder.

“I was thinking the same thing.” He says, turning to Nya then gave a sheepish grin. “I ah… I actually got lost.” He says, scratching the back of his neck in embarrassment.

That pulled a laugh out of everyone. Funny how quickly they bought that after knowing he lived out here his entire life.

“Come on. Let’s head back to the Monastery.” Lloyd says from the Earth Driller and they nodded before hopping in.

Jay sat next to Nya as they began the journey back. He kept a smile on his face, widening it when Nya held his hand. It was only a matter of time… So maybe he can enjoy it, enjoy this while he still had it. He glanced back at Cole who was staring at the back of Nya’s head with a thoughtful frown. He was surprised to realise Jay was looking at him then have him a sheepish grin. Jay just gave him an oblivious smile before looking ahead. The time may be sooner than he first thought…

_______________________________

Nya and Cole avoided each other for a few days, especially when Jay was around. Every time they accidentally cross paths, it lead to awkward greetings. But soon, things settled down and Jay held his breath.

“Hey, Cole.” Nya called and Jay paused outside the hallway he was walking through to get some fresh air. “Could you lift this for me?”

“Oh. Sure.” Cole says and the sound of him grunting as he lifted something echoed.

He should go. He really should. He doesn’t have to stay to hear any of this…

“Hey, there’s this awesome bakery that just opened in New Ninjago City. Do you wanna check it out sometime?” She sounded a little nervous.

“Bakery?! Ah. Sure!” Cole agreed and Jay turned away, heading back to his assigned room in Garmadon’s Monastery.

He sat down on his bed, his back against the wall as he stared up at the ceiling. He felt both numb and raw like a live wire. He didn’t think his heart could break any more than it already had but here he was, being proved wrong. Silent tears slipped from his eyes. If there was ever a time he wished he had another power, it was now. He wish he had Cole’s Earth powers. He wished that his heart was made of stone. Maybe then, he wouldn’t feel like this. Like his world had ended. Like he was about to fall apart with just the sight of them. He wanted… He wanted…. It was his wanting that got him in this situation. He glanced out the window at his shoulder. Maybe he was overreacting. Maybe he should be the bigger person and just let go.

He looked down at his hands as he turned them into fists. He had never been the bigger person. He was in too deep to just let go. He loved too deeply, too completely to just let go. He was too tangled up. He couldn’t let go on his own. Not that he want to. He knew his chances were shot but he wanted to keep going. Knowing that Nya was falling for Cole, knowing Cole was falling for her. It was unhealthy but he couldn’t change that about him. He wished that he wasn’t always so vulnerable, wished he was more solid, confident. He’d even have the strength, the courage to profess his love to Cole, to bring them all together, to make them something better. If only he were different. If only he was better. But he wasn’t. Here he was, wallowing in his misery.

He looked up once he heard footsteps approach, swiping his tears away and masking his misery with exhaustion.

“Hey Jay, you up for- woah. Did you sleep at all?” Kai asked him, holding the door open.

“I had a few ideas last night, about this invention I could make and use a ultra blue fingle hopper in and-”

“That… Totally doesn’t sound made up at all and I’m sure it’s all very interesting.” Kai says, cutting Jay off. “Just get some sleep. I’ll let the others know not to bother you.” He says with a concerned look then closed his door.

Jay laid down and curled in on himself. He really does feel tired…

_________________

“Careful. Wouldn’t want you to pull a muscle.” Nya says with a smirk as she watched Cole single handedly roll the water wheel back onto the Monastery grounds.

“Don’t sweat anything for me Ny, I’ve got this.” Cole says with a grin then kept it in place so she could reattach it.

“Aren’t you two a little too friendly?” Zane questions, raising a brow.

“There’s such a thing as too friendly?” Cole questions curiously.

“I was just teasing. It’s no different from Kai calling you metal head.” Nya shrugged then continued hammering.

Zane frowned. The undertones suggested otherwise. He walked over to Jay who was sitting next to Kai, watching them.

“Jay, are you truly alright with their flirting?” He asked and Kai bore an insulted look.

“You’re reading too much into it Zane. Nya would never flirt with anyone, especially not with Cole when she’s with Jay.” Kai defended.

“Kai’s right Zane. Nya isn’t that kind of person.” Jay says with a carefree grin and Zane frowned.

Perhaps he was over analyzing things…

Jay kept a smile on his face, even as his blue eyes darkened. He was a coward, masochistic even. He and Cole hardly spend time together. It wasn’t for lack of trying either. They would usually goof around, play video games, an impromptu wrestling match he would start just to feel him against him… Nya was the same. She always had something to do. Never a moment for them, what they no longer had. You would think after everything these past few weeks, he would distance himself but he couldn’t. He had such little time left before he had no choice but to stay away. He couldn’t stop himself. Just another moment pretending this was ok. Just another second seeing them smile at him… Just another sweet heartbreak, another moment of beautiful agony.

“Are you ok Jay?” Zane’s voice snapped him out of it.

“Yeah. Sorry. I’m just a little tired.” Jay says, rubbing his eye.

“Still haven’t been sleeping?” Kai questioned.

“I have! I just probably need to sleep longer.” Jay huffed, crossing his arms.

He really did want to sleep longer. He wanted to dream forever, to dream of a place where he could have them both. It was selfish of him but he wanted it. It wasn’t Nya and Cole falling for each other that was ripping his heart out. It was the fact that they were falling for each other without him.

“I’m gonna take a nap.” He says as he got up and walked away.

The moment he was out of sighed, he deflated. This was unhealthy. He was obsessed and he knew it. He wanted them both more than anything and he couldn’t stop himself from thinking this way. His head has been filled with nothing but toxicity. He knew all of this. But…

“Jay. Are you alright?” He jolted his head up to see Garmadon walking towards him.

“Fine. I just need a nap is all. I’ve been feeling a little tired lately.” Jay says and it wasn’t a lie.

No matter how much he slept, he kept feeling exhausted. A sign of depression but one he could do nothing about.

“I see. Oversleeping won’t help but a nap might be good for you.” Garmadon nods.

“I’m gonna do that now. See you Sensei G!” Jay says then headed up the stairs to his room.

He closed the door behind him, then flopped onto his bed, staring ahead blankly. One of the worst thing about being self aware… Is watching yourself do and think toxic things all the same.

________________

“We can’t.” Cole whispered, both he and Nya less than an inch apart. “Jay’s my friend. My best friend. I can’t hurt him like this.” He says, stepping back.

“What am I thinking?” Nya whispered to herself, stepping back as well. “I’m with Jay! But… Lately he’s been off. A lot quieter… He spends more time in his room than anywhere else… I don’t know…” She sighed, taking a seat.

“… Maybe you should talk to him about that.” Cole says after a moment.

“I would but Jay… He gets hurt easily. It’s hard to be straight with him sometimes.” Nya says with a frown then remained quiet for a moment. “Not like I can be with you.” She says, across at Cole.

“The truth is, I love Jay. I really do but… I don’t feel that spark we had. I… I love him but I’m not… IN love with him.” She whispered and Cole frowned.

“What are you trying to say? You’re going to break up with Jay?” Cole asked, surprised.

“… It would be the best thing to do.” She says, looking down. “I fell in love with someone else anyway…” She whispered then looked up at him.

“You.”

Cole hated how that confession had his heart speeding up. He somehow developed feelings for her too, despite him trying not to, despite him reminding himself that Nya was Jay’s.

“We can’t-”

“Not right now, no. But once I break up with him, we could try, couldn’t we?” Nya asked as she got up and walked over to where he was. “It’ll hurt him but I know he will understand with time. I just… I can’t keep lying to myself anymore.” She says, placing a hand on Cole’s chest.

“Nya…” He whispered, wanting to walk away from this, to keep his best friend but the truth of his feelings kept him planted firmly in place.

“You feel it too, right Cole?” She whispered, leaning up.

Cole’s head screamed stop her but his heart screamed don’t. He didn’t have a chance to choose a side. Nya chose for him. Her soft lips pressed against his and Cole was too weak. He kissed her back, his heart soaring.

I’m sorry Jay…

Funny how Jay always seem to be there to witness these things. He finally convinced himself to spend an entire day outside, only to come across this. He wasn’t close enough to hear their discussion but at the mouth of the small jungle, he had a perfect window view. He looked away, walking further into the greenery, feeling even more hollow than ever, his eyes blurred with tears. So that’s it. His time is up. They had each other now. There was no space for him. He stopped to look up at the evening sky. No use either.

He missed the bright flare of electricity in his chest but he didn’t miss the exhaustion that washed over him. He stumbled, his vision blurring beyond his tears before the whole world tilted. He landed on the ground with a thud, his eyelids heavy.

What was…

_______________________

When Jay came to, birds were chirping overhead and he felt cold. He slowly pushed himself up, his arms trembling with the effort. What… What happened? Why did he feel so exhausted? He managed to get to his feet then looked around. Why was he outside again? He used the trees for support and made his way back towards the Monastery.

“There he is!” He looked up once he heard Cole’s voice, seeing the others rushed over.

Cole? His heart throbbed painfully. Nya? Another painful throb. It all came back to him in a rush. That’s right. He saw them kiss. Saw them cement him out of their love then passed out. A fresh wave of exhaustion hit him but he was determined not to show it.

“Where have you been?!”

“We were worried sick!”

“Are you alright?”

“What happened?”

“Did you get lost?” They all asked him suddenly and he gave his signature sheepish grin.

“Sorry for worrying you all. I took a walk last night and fell asleep in the woods.” He lied, and they groaned.

“We’re just glad nothing bad has happened to you.” Wu says and Misako nodded.

“How about you get yourself cleaned up. It appears you may have rolled into a mud puddle in your sleep.” Garmadon says, gesturing to his gi that was completely muddy.

“Uh… Oopsie?”

__________

Jay came out of the shower fresh and clean but the shower couldn’t wash away the exhaustion he felt. He was changing into comfortable clothes when he spotted something in the mirror, something over his chest. It… looked like a crack. It had a low glow too. That's… Strange. Before he could examine it further, there was a knock on the door. He pulled a t-shirt on, taking a look to see if it showed but nothing did. He then headed out and opened the door. He looked at an anxious Nya and knew immediately what was to come.

“Nya! Hey! Come on in.” He says with a smile as he stepped aside. “Sorry, I haven’t had much time to clean up…” he says, looking at the clothes dumped all around his room.

“That’s ok. I um… How are you feeling?” She asked, watching as he began to pick up his clothes.

“Pretty good actually.” Jay says, glancing back at her with a grin that fell the moment he looked away to pick up his dirty gi. “Who would have known sleeping in the woods would be so relaxing?” He says, keeping his voice cheery.

“Oh? Really?” Nya says and he nods, throwing the hand full of clothes in the basket, not caring that most of them were actually clean.

“Yeah. Sorry if I worried you though.” He says, turning to her with a sorry expression that was true.

She shouldn’t have to worry for him. None of them did. He wanted them to be happy, even if that’s without him. Even if he gets left behind…

“You’re ok, that’s all that matters.” She says with a strained dig before she sighed. “I’m sorry but we need to talk Jay.” She says quietly and Jay blinked, acting surprised.

“What about?” He asked, looking at her curiously.

“Us…” Nya says, fiddling with her hands and Jay held his breath, waiting for the blow. “I… Maybe it’s best we go our separate ways and… Break up.” She says, squeezing her eyes shut as she waited for his reaction.

She missed the flare of light in Jay’s chest as the weight of her words hit him. He held his hand over his chest, his eyes having a faint glow in them as he struggled to not collapse with the wave of exhaustion that hit him. He felt… Weak.

“Oh…” He says quietly, not hiding his devastated expression and Nya looked up at him, expecting a much worse reaction.

“I’m sorry Jay. I love you, really I do… But I’m not in love with you.” She whispered, wanting to be thorough. “We can still be friends but we’ve drifted apart… I… I fell for someone else…” She says, glancing back at the door.

“Is it someone I know?” Jay whispered and Nay felt bad but she knew it was necessary.

“Yeah actually… Please don’t hate him. It was sudden and I know he wouldn’t if he had a choice.” She defended as Jay went over to sit on the bed, the threat of collapsing from the bone deep exhaustion too real.

Not to mention the jolts of pain with each pounding of his heart, right where he was sure he saw that odd looking crack on his chest.

“It's… Cole.” She whispered, expecting the worst.

“Oh…” Jay says again, surprising her yet again.

This was going nothing like she expected… It made her feel worse than she already is.

“Before you says anything.” Both of them turned to Cole who walked in.

“Cole! I told you to-”

“It’s ok.” Jay says, cutting her off and they both looked at him surprised.

“Wait- what?” Cole says hesitantly, not sure he heard correctly.

“I said it’s ok. I do love you Nya but Cole obviously makes you happier. I can’t be mad. As long as you’re happy. As long as you’re both happy.” He spoke honestly with a sort of wistful-hurt expression on his face.

“Jay…” Nya whispered, taking a step closer.

“You’re both happy, right?” Jay whispered, wanting them to be.

He may not have a chance but… But he wants them to be happy. It’s eating him alive that he will never be with either of them but as long… Tears fell down his cheeks, despite how hard he tried to hold them back.

As long as they’re happy…

“Jay…” Cole whispered, heart broken at his tears.

He was letting Nya go and he wasn’t so sure he wanted to take her anymore. Not when it hurt his best friend this much. He thought he couldn’t handle it. He expected yelling, name calling, malicious energy… Not… Not this self-sacrificing bullshit!

“You’re happy, right?” Jay asked again, needed the confirmation, hoping it will be enough for him to let go.

Nya and Cole looked at each other.

“Yeah… We are.” Nya whispered and Jay nodded before smiling.

“Then… I wish you both the best.” He says, his voice breaking a bit but he still smiled.

Nya brushed her tears away, feeling guilt weigh her down. They had what they wanted. All but Jay. But she still loves Cole… It's… For the best.

“I… Thank you Jay.” Nya whispered then took Cole’s hand in hers, giving it a squeeze.

Cole nodded, too choked up to speak but he did squeeze Nya’s hand back.

“Don’t worry about it.” He says, brushing his tears away. “I should ah. I should get my room cleaned up.” He says, gesturing to clothes in a corner.

“We’ll- we’ll leave you to it then.” Nya says then lead Cole out of the room by the hand, not even waiting until the door was fully closed before kissing him.

Jay clutched over his chest, a visible glow starting up. It hurt. It hurt so bad. But… They were happy… They were happy without him.

___________

A lot of things changed after that day. Nya and Cole informed the others of their relationship. They weren’t very happy to hear about it, thinking of Jay but once they and Jay himself confirmed he was ok with it, they reluctantly eased up. Kai loved his sister. He really does. But that was a pretty suckish thing to do. While they were all best friends, they all had one friend they held at a slightly higher level than everyone else. Cole was it for Jay. The same was for Cole. Which was another reason they had a bad reaction at first. Cole was Jay’s best friend. He knew more than everyone else how he felt about Nya… So why go falling for her?

By the advice of their Senseis, they respected their decision but the new relationship was a thing to adjust to. It threw off their dynamic a bit. Everyone else was more worried about Jay. Naturally, he wasn’t seen as often but he looked pretty awful. They try to reach out to them but he kept them all at arm’s length.

Jay did that so they didn’t see him in this condition. He thought letting them be together, knowing they were happy would give him some relief from the breathtaking misery he felt but it only worsened everything. All he could think of was how he should have been satisfied with just Nya, that he should have gathered the courage to ask Cole out in training and be satisfied with just him. He was too greedy. This was just karma. He wanted both so now he had none. There was no need for him. There was never any need for him.

The spiral of thoughts evoked another wave of crippling exhaustion and searing pain from his chest. He breathed heavily, clutching his chest. That was another thing. He gingerly lifted his shirt, looking down at the widening hole in his chest. It went from a crack to a hole almost the size of his fist and it was widening. It was filled with his lightning, buzzing and crackling whenever it widened. It got so much worse overnight. He hid it from everyone. He didn’t want them to worry about him. He didn’t deserve their worry. He didn’t deserve a lot of things. He coughed, his throat feeling as if it was about to close up, the pain in his chest intensifying.

He was dying. Whatever this hole is, whatever caused it, it was killing him. He knew it. He couldn’t get up anymore. Just the action of lifting his shirt made him breathless. He was sleepy. Always so tired, always so sleepy. The storm outside pelting the Monastery was like a lullaby, luring him to sleep. He thought of his confession letter he wrote to Cole, and the apology letters he wrote to his parents and the others. They’d understand, right? He was replaceable. His powers would move onto someone stronger, someone more capable. Someone they could rely on. Someone who wasn’t a coward.

He stared at the ceiling, knowing he wouldn’t make it past today. Was he really going to let himself die because of a sick obsession? Over not getting what he wanted like a spoilt child? He gave a shaky huff. Being self aware sucks. He knew this wasn’t something worth dying over deep inside. But he just didn’t want keep going without them. Him being gone should help them not feel guilty even. He’d finally get to rest, not just sleep. Maybe death isn’t so bad. He grunted as another flare of pain ripped through him, the hole widening. He felt it. Felt his own powers eating away at his life force. His eyelids drooped as a tear ran from the corner of his eye.

I’m sorry…

___________

“Where are you going?” Kai asked Zane who suddenly stood.

“To check on Jay. I have a bad feeling.” Zane says, walking still, not sure where this feeling came from but it was urging him to go.

“We’ll come with you.” Lloyd says as he and Kai followed.

“Me too. I’ve been wanting to talk to him.” Cole says, going after them, climbing the stairs behind them.

“Not to be mean but I don’t think Jay’s feeling well enough-” Lloyd was cut off by a huge clap of thunder followed by a blinding flash of light.

“Watch out!” Kai yelled, yanking an overwhelmed Zane back out of the way of a door flying in his direction at the top of the stairs.

The door crashed into the wall then flopped down.

“What happened?” They looked down to see Wu, Garmadon and Misako there, looking up at them worried.

“That came from Jay’s room.” Cole whispered and they all shared a horrified look before rushing up the stairs.

“Jay-!” Zane cut himself off with a gasp at what laid before him.

“What? What is it?!” Lloyd asked, trying to see past Zane, Cole and Kai who were blocking the doorway.

“What has happened?” Garmadon asked, pushing past them.

He gasped at the sight before him. Almost all of the roof and outer wall of the room was completely gone, leaving rain and wind to blow in at wind. But that wasn’t what had him covering his mouth in shock. On the bed, Jay laid there, looking awfully pale but peacefully asleep. His chest revealed the truth of his ‘sleep’ however. The front of his shirt was seated off completely, revealing the gaping hole in his chest that took up most of his chest. The inside was seared and black, revealing the slightly burnt sheets below.

A small, horrified gasp caught Garmadon’s attention and he looked back to see Lloyd staring at his departed friend with horror.

“Misako. Take Lloyd downstairs.” He spoke, voice barely a whisper.

“Come with me Lloyd.” Misako says quietly, taking him by the shoulders then lead him back and away, Lloyd’s eyes still staring into the room, at Jay where he laid still, even as tears poured down his face.

“I- I don’t understand… How?” Wu whispered to his brother as they walked into the room, not caring that they were getting wet, looking at the young life lost.

“I heard a noi-” Nya cut herself odd once she arrived on scene, walking right into the room. “No…” She whispered, taking a step back.

“Nya.” Cole got out, his voice choked up.

She looked at him, breathing heavily from panic before her eyes rolled back. He moved quickly, catching her before she hit the ground.

“I… I do not understand…” Zane spoke quietly, unable to cry but very much able to feel the painfully hollow feeling of loss.

“How could this happen?! There was no warning or- or anything!” Kai yelled, unable to quiet accept or even understand that his teammate was…

**_Dead._ **

Garmadon looked to his brother as he placed a hand on Jay’s hair, droplets that wasn’t rain falling on his student’s pale, wet face.

Today, they were reminded that life was a fickle thing. Here one day and gone the next.

_______________

It was almost a year after Jay’s death before Cole finally had the courage to re-enter the room he found his best friend dead in. Sensei Wu had found his letters and had read the ones addressed to them. It pained them all that he had been suffering as long as he had but he was grateful for the knowledge he left behind. Elemental powers corresponds with its wielder’s state of mind it seems. If the thoughts of the user is toxic, their powers will also become toxic.

Cole sat at the edge of the very same bed and looked at the letter addressed to him with a sigh.

“Are you finally going to open it?” He looked up to see Nya standing there, fiddling with her Yang pendant on her gi.

“Yeah.” Cole sighed, looking at Jay’s messy scrawl of a hand writing on the envelope.

He then took a breath before opening it and pulling out the letter. Nya walked in and sat next to him, taking his hand in hers then gave it a squeeze. They shared a look before they turned to the letter.

_‘Dear Cole and Nya_

_I figured you’d both end up reading this so I hope I’m right. I have to make this short or else I’d chicken out and never get to the point. The truth is, I thought I could be happy and ok if you were both happy together- and I was, don’t get me wrong. It’s just…_

_The truth is Nya, you weren’t the only one to fall for Cole. I’ve had a thing for him since training days and well, somewhere along the line, I fell in love with him. Don’t get me wrong, I loved you too. Like, love at first sight. I was selfish ‘till the end. I was always happy with you but I wanted Cole too. I was content with being with you and loving Cole from afar but then Pixal brought up the Perfect Match thing and I knew that would be it for us._

_I knew when you asked Cole out, I knew you were flirting while fixing Sensei G’s wheel. I knew when you first kissed. Wrong time, wrong place I suppose. By then, I won’t lie, I became obsessed. I wanted it all. I wanted to be apart of you two, for us all to be together. But I knew it was all wishful thinking. I just tried to spend as much time as I could with you both before It was my time to step back and fade into the background. I didn’t get to but at least you guys are happy._

_When you broke up with me, I spiraled. This thing in my chest is getting bigger the more miserable I feel. I wish I was stronger. I wish I was more confident to tell you I love you in person, Cole. Not in some stupid letter. It’s too late for me so don’t feel bad. I just want you two to do something for me though._

_Be happy. Please._

_Goodbye. I love you both.’_

Both Nya and Cole were openly sobbing before they were even halfway through.

“That- that idiot! He should have told me! Told us! We could have worked something out!” Cole growled, hands shaking as he glared at the letter with tears streaming down his face.

“Did you… Did you love him back?” Nya asked with a sniffle.

Cole looked at his messy scrawl before nodding.

“But he had you. I thought I had no choice. I forced myself to move on…” Cole whispered to himself then hung his head. “If I knew…” He whispered, voice wavering as tears dripped off his nose.

“If we had known, things would have been different.” Nya says, placing a hand on his back. “But we didn’t know. There’s nothing we can do but honor his wishes.” She whispered and Cole knew she was right.

It didn’t mean it hurt any less.

“Don’t worry Jay. We’ll be happy, for you.” Cole whispered, looking at the paper once more before setting it aside, hugging Nya close. “We’ll be happy…”


End file.
